Twenty-three. Part-time Student. Employed. Designer. Painter. Artist. Crafter. Pierced. Tattooed. Beloved Child of God.

I sit here with so much on my mind. It’s been awhile since that’s happened. My thoughts have been more focused. I don’t overthink the little things, I just deal and move on.

But something is different about tonight. And all I want to do is write about how I feel.

Write about how I feel lonely right now, and I’m okay with that. That just because I’m lonely doesn’t mean I’m sad, unhappy, depressed, or need/want someone.

Write about how when people showed up I felt more alone.

Write about how that makes me sad, frustrated, annoyed, pissed off, for so many reasons.

But I don’t have the courage to write freely, uncensored.

I don’t want to hurt anyone by my words. I know I should talk to them about how I feel, instead of sitting still, silent with my feelings, but it’s easier to leave things unsaid (or at least that’s how it feels at the moment). It has always been easier to take the blame in silence, than confront someone’s wrong.

I could explain the scenario, change names in the stories I want to tell, but some how people will realize who I’m talking about, or worse, assume they know. And since nobody takes the time to clarify most of their assumptions, it would only lead to rumors and cause more damage.

Therefore, I sit here in silence, hiding what I want and wish I had the courage to say, through my typing.